November 28, 2006 - 10:06 PM
More meat madness
Today I urgently needed to eat all the meat in my apartment (the reason for which is best left to another time). This consisted of: three mini beef samosas, a can of tuna and two packs of back bacon. The first two items presented no particular challenge, but the bacon was tough-going (almost as if in the last hour I'd already eaten three mini beef samosas and a can of tuna). I persevered, though, and eventually it was no more. I stood there next to the stove, fork in hand and, with a mighty roar, thrust my arms skyward in triumph. Some moments later I snapped them sharply back to my sides again, at exactly the correct angle to knock over a wine bottle sitting empty and (thus) neglected on my kitchen counter.
I looked down at the ground quickly enough to see it strike the unyielding stone tiles with a hollow donk, bounce up in the air a couple of inches, and, before I could even finish thinking "damn, that was cool," drop once more and explode into a billion tiny lethal shards. They scattered, did those shards, 'til they covered every inch of the floor. I regarded them with a sort of breathless disbelief and they in turn sparkled up at me from every direction, all around my besocked feet. "Huh," I thought. "Now what?"
I managed eventually to extricate myself from the winefield via a countertop, and spent the next 20 minutes sweeping the debris into a pile in the middle of the floor. Before, I'd always wrap the bits in a few layers of newspaper and throw the whole bundle out. But, uh, web sites don't really work as well for that purpose.
So every now and then I'll put down my book and wander over there to look at the pile, hands in pockets, and say "Hmmm." Then I'll wander away again. I realize this isn't something I should procrastinate about, but at least it made me want to blog.
